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February 1, 2022
A Wallet for Every Occasion
My dad always had a ton of wallets. Ones like a pamphlet that held every one of his collected business cards. One that had family pictures in it. One specifically he used for when he was at the flea market and one for going to an event or dinner. In a way I followed in this habit, just with handbags. One to carry all my crap and others for simple days out for dinner.
When we moved and had to sift through 30 years of collecting, birthdays, holidays and everything in between; I made a lot of long-lasting decisions on what was worth taking. Some things I regret leaving but have since realized that we needed to move forward either way. I did, however, make sure I brought every single one of my dad’s wallets. It preserved his memory, a part of him that he held close, and would help me remember him. His pockets full of change and keys that would jingle as he walked. His booming voice and commanding presence. Even though it has been 21 years since he passed, it feels like yesterday. On occasion I feel like I have forgotten things and certain memories are slipping away.
Thankfully both mom and dad recorded just about everything of when I was little. I can just pop in a VHS tape and remember the good times. It helps to preserve my dad’s memory, as well as my mom and my past. I will on occasion come across my dad’s wallets and look through them just to bring back some memories. In one wallet there is a picture of him, but it must have gotten damaged, either it got wet or just left in the picture sleeve too long. It is faded and hard to make out. I know it is my dad, but he seems to be behind a fog and faded.
Like so many things that sit around us; inspiration hit. The following is dedicated to my dad, my memories and this picture.
Faded Memories
A faint echo
I can’t quite hear
Unfamiliar surroundings
Alone and lost
Reaching out into the darkness
Searching for guidance
A ghostly image
Something within the fog
Pointing me in the right direction
Forever guiding me
The picture fades
Alone again
The black abyss calls
You pull me back out
Always a source of strength
Faded but not forgotten
When I was in high school, I used poems to get through times that were rough. At the time, felt like every day. But I really had no idea what life was truly going to be like. I would not wish myself to go back to school for anything. I just wish I took in a bit more of my surroundings while I had them. Days are fleeting and time is short. I am learning more and more of that as the years progress.
