![](https://gabriellecataldi.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/determination-wordle1.jpg)
Determination
I am going to start this off with saying, I have never classified myself as someone who had a drive to get things done. I am largely a procrastinator and prefer relaxing then going out and exercising. Even if I truly NEED to go out and move around. However, I have found in the last few years a certain strength within that I could use to push me forward. I have mentioned many times in my blogs that I have gone through a lot in the last few years. I am not going to say that I have gone through more than someone else. Someone always has it harder, the same or they are completely fine. I will say that we each deal with these situations differently.
For me, writing has always helped me through a lot of it. Whether it was poetry, journaling or just stories to get something on paper. In this I have found that strength to know I can move on and get things done. When I finally made the decision to go back to school, I went specifically to hone my writing ability. Now it has turned into a whole new career path that I didn’t think I would be on. But I am happy I am traveling it now.
![](https://gabriellecataldi.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Journaling.jpg)
I have become a little more outgoing, very little, but it is a surprise I have that much. What I have been thinking about recently is that my school career is coming to an end, if I don’t decide to go for a graduate degree, I am still debating that journey. I am on my way in my career with marketing, which is not my destination but merely a step in the right direction.
![](https://gabriellecataldi.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/home-concept-1024x1024.webp)
What is my next step? When we lost our house of nearly 30 years, I felt adrift. I didn’t know what my final space would be, or if I was just going to be living a nomadic life. Thankfully we have been lucky to find the place where we are now. I am continually grateful for everyone that helped us get there. With things changing the dynamic of home life I have been constantly thinking of what my long-term plan needs to be. We needed a home, not someone else’s home, but our own home.
Unfortunately, I am still working on this credit score I have had for a good portion of my life. There is no denying I am just shit at finances. I go through moments of being down, depression I suppose, and I buy something, or I get food out when I have food at home. It is just me not wanting to face whatever is bothering me at that moment and smothering it with either food or a new material object. Which is subsequently followed by regret.
![](https://gabriellecataldi.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/money-flying-away-hand-1024x532.jpg)
![](https://gabriellecataldi.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/food-and-depression.jpg)
So, I am facing some more of my major flaws and working on that. I am getting these finances under control by contacting people and setting up regular payments and just getting them removed. A house is my next goal. I am shifting that determination I somehow found to get schooling and work sorted. Now it is my own house. Something I can be proud of, decorate and start those roots growing.
When I was younger my parents had a house, had their jobs, led their lives, you know…adulting. I see plenty of families and people I went to school with on social media with homes, careers, and a nice little family. It makes me feel like I have failed. I have no home, just renting, I am only just getting into a “career”, only just finishing school and yes, I have a son, but it isn’t a picture-perfect family. Then again social media always shines a light that blinds you to whatever may be going on in the background. Perhaps I am just one that paints my life as the roller coaster it is. Social media and in real life, it is what it is.
![](https://gabriellecataldi.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/adulting-1024x1024.jpg)
Setting aside that feeling of failing, we all lead our lives differently and we get to the finish line one way or another. I am just now seeing that focus. Finding what I want and stop hiding in that bubble I created for myself. No more wallowing, although I know there will be days, but just push through it. Instead of seeing that roadblock I created for myself, find a way to dismantle it, or find another route. Along the way I want to thank the people who have been there for me. Especially my son, who helps me daily, my friends who make me laugh and bring me up when I am down. I have even found some awesome people at my work that truly are the best people. Thank every single one of you. In the meantime, I am working for that house. I will get there, and I will be posting a blog about it soon.
![](https://gabriellecataldi.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/coming-soon.webp)